- This topic is empty.
-
A World Cup update for people who don’t know what offside means but somehow keep getting dragged into football conversations anyway.
Every four years, the World Cup reminds me that I know absolutely nothing about football. I don’t know who plays left wing. I don’t know what makes a good formation, and if you ask me to explain offside, I will simply leave the room.
Yet somehow, the World Cup always finds me. It finds me through tweets from people who become football pundits overnight. My friends and family are on that list as well. Not forgetting one very patient person who has spent more time explaining football to me than I care to admit.
So while football lovers are debating formations and possession statistics, I’ve been observing the World Cup from a different perspective completely. And honestly? I have questions.
The things I don’t understand
A referee holding out the offside flag via Facebook Let’s start with offside. I recently asked a friend to explain the rule to me. After several minutes of diagrams, examples, hand gestures and what felt like a mini-university lecture, we somehow arrived at the same conclusion. It’s a very illogical rule.
Why should a player whose entire purpose is to score have to wait for opponents to be close enough before a goal counts? I’m aware football fans are reading this in distress right now, but I stand by my confusion.
Then there are referees
Do referees always understand the languages of both teams playing? Take the Brazil versus Morocco match officiated by Slovenian referee Slavko Vinčić. At various points, there were passionate protests, heated discussions and what looked like emotional negotiations happening all over the pitch.
How exactly was everybody communicating? Is there a universal football language that players and referees automatically unlock after enough years in the sport? Because if there is, I would like someone to explain that too.
Read also: With the World Cup underway, these are the kits we’re currently obsessed with
Who is Nigeria adopting?
This question is heavy. Since Nigeria is not at the World Cup, the question becomes: whose country have we decided to make our country? For some Nigerians, the answer is obvious.
Morocco: For people who still believe Africa can go all the way. Morocco’s historic run in 2022 changed how many people view African football. They proved that an African team don’t have to settle for participation trophies. They can genuinely compete with the world’s best.
Ghana: For people who enjoy chaos and don’t mind irritating fellow Nigerians. Need I say more?
South Africa: For optimists who love an underdog story. Not my pick at all, and we all know why.
Egypt: For people who simply want to watch Mohamed Salah do Mohamed Salah things. Fair enough.
Cape Verde: For people who supported indie artists before they became mainstream. A small nation with big vibes.
Senegal: Now we’re talking. If I had to choose an African team, I’m rooting for Senegal. Hear me out.
The 2025 AFCON left both Senegal and Morocco claiming the crown through one of the most dramatic football stories I’ve ever come across. Senegal won the final 1-0 after extra time in Rabat. Months later, a CAF Appeal Board ruling overturned the result following a match-disrupting player walkout and awarded Morocco a 3-0 default victory. I’m a sucker for revenge stories. If there is unfinished business in football form, I will always be seated.
My non-African picks that nobody asked for
Outside Africa, I have opinions. I’m rooting for France because Kylian Mbappé’s performance against Argentina at the 2022 World Cup remains one of the most incredible things I’ve ever watched happen in a sporting event. I also like Ousmane Dembélé and Ibrahima Konaté, which is as good a reason as any to support a team when you’re me.
At the same time, I believe Bukayo Saka (aka Tolami Benson’s fiancé), Jude Bellingham, Harry Kane and Declan Rice deserve a major international trophy for how far they’ve come as individual players. This does not mean I support England or Arsernal. Let’s be very clear about that.
Read also: Stylish ways to show up for your country as the 2026 FIFA World Cup approaches
My team ranking
The DR Congo team via @actufootafrique_ on Instagram Football fans can keep their statistics. I’m judging teams using metrics that make sense to me.
Cool team nickname: Senegal’s Lions of Teranga deserve recognition purely because it sounds cool.
Best jersey: Morocco and Nigeria usually dominate this category, but since we’re not here, Morocco wins by default.
Most attractive squad photos: France. No further comments, just look them up.
Strongest aura: DR Congo. There’s something about a team that walks into tournaments carrying the expectations of an entire continent and somehow looks comfortable doing it. The football is good (they did kick Nigeria’s Super Eagles out of the race). Their confidence is there, and the aura is immaculate.
I’m rounding things up
Despite my impressive analysis, the truth is that I still don’t fully understand football. I still think the offside rule needs reevaluating, and I still have questions about referees and the multilingual arguments that unfold on the pitch. But every four years, the World Cup manages to pull even the least interested among us into the conversation. Maybe that’s the magic of it.
You don’t need to understand every tactical decision to appreciate the drama. You don’t need to know every player’s statistics to pick favourites. And you definitely don’t need a fashion degree to decide which team has the best jersey.
For now, I’m rooting for Senegal’s revenge arc, keeping an eye on France, admiring DR Congo’s aura and waiting for someone to finally explain why one score equals three points on the league table in a way that makes sense.
Read more: Beyond the game — spotlighting some of the most stylish and talked-about WAGs in modern football
React to this post!The post The 2026 FIFA World Cup through the eyes of a non-football girl appeared first on Marie Claire Nigeria.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
