TIPS TO AVOID BEING KIDNAPPED

[Waleeu]

1. Lie on the ground and pretend to be dead.
2. Or just stay stunned and frozen without moving. Average human weight is 70kg, it almost doubles if you stiffen your body – making it hard to lift you.
3. If that doesn’t work, instead of running away run towards the kidnappers. It may just scare them into running the other way
4. Once you sight the kidnapper, immediately start pretending that you are mentally unstable. A little drool here and incessant ticks should tell them that taking you will be way too much stress
5. This is not the time to be skinny. Eat at least 6 times a day – the more the better. The fatter you are the heavier it will be to carry you
6. One sure way to let them know you are not normal is to smile. Don’t panic, don’t shout…just smile. They will avoid you.
7. Beg them that you will like to join their group. They might fall for it and give you enough chance to be able to contact authorities
8. Quit all beauty regimen for now. It is dangerous to be beautiful in captivity. Don’t give your kidnappers any ideas.
9. If you are captured in the bush, once its night draw a circle around you, make funny signs and start chanting incantations. It may scare your kidnappers
10. Abandon all reason and decorum. Panic and scream like hell.

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